then sings my soul

I always appreciate quiet evenings at home...those evenings after getting off work when I have nowhere to go and can spend time just chilling and catching up on life. This evening I sat on the front steps and watched my dog play in the yard, did some laundry and dishes, goofed off on the computer, went to the field and shot my bow & arrows, ate leftovers for dinner while watching 1/2 of a movie (didn't feel like finishing it, haha), and played my guitar. It has been very nice!!

But after a few hours, evenings like this can sometimes start to seem a bit long and quiet and lonesome. It's on these nights that I tend to get thoughtful and introspective. Questions like who am I, and what is my purpose here, and where am I going from here... start dancing around in my head. I think about life and myself and God and the people around me. I think about the future, and wonder why I'm still alone (relationship-status-speaking). I long for an adventure. I long for something bigger, something deeper, something I can't even pinpoint or explain.

Sometimes on these quiet, thoughtful nights, I feel so full and so empty at the same time that it feels like I might explode... or implode.

And then I go to bed. And the next morning at 6:15, there is static-blurred country music playing on my radio just like always, and I get up, get ready, and go to work, and everything is fine.

Life is weird.

But it's good.

Because God is good. He's also mysterious... and so is life.

In case you're interested... this video has really blessed me this week and I wanted to share it. As I sat in my car last night watching an incredible lightning storm, I thought, I'm so often distracted and focused on unimportant things. How can I look at what's before me and around me and NOT focus on "how great Thou art"?? He is great.

soaking Him up

"SAVIOR KING" by Hillsong

Let now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
And now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is Him and I'm more than blessed

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for Your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our King

We love You Lord, we worship You
You are our God, You alone are good

Let now Your church shine as Your bride
That You saw in Your heart as You offered up Your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
By the saved and redeemed, those adopted as Your own

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for Your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our King

We love You Lord, we worship You
You are our God, You alone are good

You asked Your Son to carry this
The heavy cross, our weight of sin

I love You Lord, I worship You
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the Savior King

Last night I went to the Good Friday service at the church I have been visiting for the past couple months. We sang this song at the service (among several other really good ones), took Communion, and had a some good prayer time. It was a great evening of worship that I really needed... and when I came home last night, I grabbed my Bible, journal, and a blanket, and drove up to the lake for my own personal time of worship.

The dock is a good place for Jesus-time. The crickets and frogs were singing, and I counted the stars as they came out one by one... all while talking and listening to God.

Even though I live and work at a Christian camp, I often feel like my relationship with God suffers. I squeeze in 15 minutes with Him each morning while getting ready for work... and I hunger for a word or touch from Him, but if it's gonna happen during my "quiet time" in the mornings, it'd better be something "quick and easy" so I won't be late for work.

A relationship can't survive like that.

So by the time the weekends or days off come around, I'm like a dry sponge -- so thirsty for a real time with Him. That's the way I felt last night, and the music, the words, the Scriptures, the prayer, the crickets and frogs and stars, all of it just poured over me and I soaked HIM in.

I don't want to keep letting myself get that thirsty. Practically, it's difficult to make that time during the work-week.... but I know some of it is a matter of priorities. Please pray for me on this?

There is nothing more beneficial that you and I can do than to soak up our Savior, to worship Him and to listen to His word. We need it like air and water.
He is beautiful, our Savior King. Take time to think this weekend about what He did for you on the cross. Where would you be without it?

"I love You Lord, I worship You
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the Savior King"

Disney Princess Bridal Shower

Today, Holly (one of Briana's other bridesmaids) and I gave her another bridal shower. This one was a Disney Princess themed shower. We put a lot of time and work into it, and were really happy with the outcome!! Each table was a different princess. Some pictures....

♫ you can't fence time and you can't stop love ♫

Well, it's 1 month and 11 days until my little sister gets married. So hard to believe! I helped give a shower for her yesterday, and will be giving another one this coming weekend. I'm also addressing their invitations for them, and in a couple of weeks will be shooting some of their engagement photos (so very excited about that!)! So the wedding prep has been keeping me kinda busy lately in my off-work hours.

Last weekend, I went and spent the weekend with Briana at her apartment -- I guess the last "just the two of us" weekend we'll spend together before she gets married. It was a lot of fun :-) We spent Sunday afternoon lying on a blanket in her back yard, soaking up the sun and writing silly stories.

Here's a shot from the shower yesterday... the centerpieces turned out so pretty!

Wedding day will be here before we know it!
Savoring every moment until then...

Things I've Learned.

Since beginning my year-round job at Camp a year-and-a-half ago, I have learned a TON about the Christian camping ministry. But I realized recently that I've also learned a lot about myself and life in general. I'd like to share a few of those things... if you don't mind :-)

-- I've learned that working hard and getting paid for it is rewarding... but working hard and then seeing positive fruit of your work is even so much more rewarding.

-- I've learned that interstates are not quite as confusing and terrifying as I once thought them to be.

-- I've learned that I really can't please everyone. There are some people who just don't like me (and some people I don't like!!) and that's okay. I'm learning to accept that.

-- I've learned that in every ministry project/outreach, there is SO MUCH detail work done behind the scenes, that most people don't even think about.

-- I've learned that "behind the scenes" is where God often likes to put me, to teach me humility. Because I often want my hard work to be noticed... but I'm learning that God sees it and that's enough.

-- I've learned that no matter how much you enjoy your job and the people you work with, the weekend (or a day off) still causes great rejoicing.

-- I've learned that 5:30am makes me angry. I'm normally just fine with mornings, and am one of the few camp staff who actually enjoys doing breakfast assembly in the summer. But getting up at 5:30am makes me kind of hate the world.

-- I've learned that saying a positive word to someone, even something as simple as "you're doing a great job," can be a blessing to both sides. Making the effort to brighten someone's day brightens mine.

-- I've learned that I actually can live on my own and not be drowning in loneliness all the time (although it does happen on occasion).

-- I've learned that life and circumstances aren't always fair. But I'm learning that I need to be a giver, and have a submissive, serving heart.

-- I've learned that telephones and microphones are not so terribly frightening...most of the time...

-- I've learned that I am stronger (physically and emotionally) than I thought I was... and yet it's not my strength. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

These are just a few of the life lessons I've learned at Camp since last October. Can I say "everything I know about life I learned from working at camp"? Well, maybe not. But definitely some important lessons and growth.