Lord, Send What it Needs!

 

I’m using Streams in the Desert as my daily devotional these days. Yesterday morning, this little story was part of the devo:

“I need oil,” said an ancient monk; so he planted an olive sapling. “Lord,” he prayed, “it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gentle showers.” And the Lord sent gentle showers. “Lord,” prayed the monk, “my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray Thee.” And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. “Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues,” cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. “I, too, planted a little tree,” he said, “and see! it thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me.

I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. ‘Lord, send what it needs,’ I prayed, ‘storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou has made it and Thou dost know.'”

I don’t know about you, sister, but that was a lesson I needed when I read it yesterday.

At first, I was nodding right along with the monk’s prayers: yes, Lord, I need the good and the bad in order to grow; send me the rain, the sun, and the frost.

We’ve all heard that lesson. Some of us, in the early 2000’s, sang along with MercyMe, “Jesus bring the rain!” It’s a familiar concept that we need trials and hardships for our spiritual growth.

Then I got to the part where the tree died. I was taken aback. Even a little appalled. What?! After all that care, God let the tree die?! God, how could You?

Maybe I felt appalled because I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to believe and nurture and pray over something, only to have to watch it die. Do you know what that feels like, too? It feels like being let down and betrayed by God. It feels horrible.

But keep reading.

This other monk has the answer that redeems this story. He knows the lesson we all need to be reminded of when we’re hoping and praying over something.

I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no conditions. I fixed not ways or means. Lord, send what it needs.

He who made your body and your health knows what it needs.

He who made your marriage knows what it needs.

He who made your family knows what it needs.

He who put the desire and the calling in your heart knows how to fulfill it.

He who placed you in this circumstance knows how to redeem it.

He who created your longing, waiting heart knows what you need.

And He doesn’t need us to tell him how to do it. 

Lately, I find myself anxious over my circumstances, and as a result I end up trying to control those circumstances. I’m striving to “fix it” myself, while telling God what I need Him to do. How silly. Do I really think I know the situation better than my Lord and Creator does? Do I really think I have any control?

Lord, send what it needs, is my prayer today. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know.

Pour out your Heart

 Did you realize that “pour out your heart” is commanded in the Bible?

“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8

I forget this sometimes. And I fail to do it. Do you?

“Pour out your heart” makes me think of complete trust, confidentiality, and an intimate relationship.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone you could trust completely, someone with whom you could share your heart without reserves?  Wouldn’t it be great to have that relationship with our Heavenly Father?

I think we are often too formal with God. 

Maybe we think He doesn’t have time for us, or doesn’t care about our feelings.  Or maybe we feel that we have to keep our composure, act appropriately, and say heartfelt but polite prayers to Him. Too emotional comes across as desperate, right?

I think those of us who were raised in the church – as “good little church girls” – maybe struggle with this more than anyone. Somehow the practice of putting on your Sunday best, using your nicest manners, and learning all the right answers in Sunday School, for many of us, translated into the idea that we need to bring God our “best face.”

A glance through the Bible, however, will show us something pretty different from that. What we find is that the people of God were often – quite honestly – a mess!

People all throughout the Bible poured their hearts out to God.  Moses was very honest with God about his feelings and fears (Exodus 33:12-18).  Hannah wept bitterly as she prayed for a son, to the point that the priest thought she was drunk (1 Samuel 1:10).  David freely expressed all his emotions to the Lord, from dancing with joy (2 Samuel 6:14), to weeping and wailing with despair (Psalm 6:6), to begging God to demolish his enemies (Psalm 109:8-15)!  Jesus prayed in great agony before His crucifixion (Luke 22:41-44).

I personally think God likes our messy, emotional, gut-wrenching prayers a lot better than our neatly-packaged-and-presented prayers. Because those are the ones that come straight from the depths of our hearts. And it’s our hearts that He wants most.

I wonder if the reason we don’t often pour our hearts out to God is that our way of thinking about Him is wrong.  Do we really trust Him?

The remainder of the verse tells us to trust in God because He is a refuge for us.  A refuge is defined as “a place of shelter, protection, or safety.”  God can be trusted – He is the place to which we can run and hide in times of trouble.

When I’m upset or hurt, I often tend to seek comfort from music, writing in my journal, or talking to my husband or a friend.  Or, worse, I attempt to escape my feelings by throwing myself into work or getting lost in a TV show.

Am I afraid to just get on my knees and cry out to God?  Why isn’t He the first one I run to? 

You and I need to grasp that God is our loving Father – He’s a good, good Father – even in times when He feels far away.  He is our personal, loving, compassionate Father, who hears our prayers, catches our tears, smiles at our joy, and reaches out to hold and help us.

He is as close as the thoughts and feelings that race through our souls, and as real as the first prayer that escapes our lips when our hearts break. And He wants simply us. As we are.

“‘…with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,’ says the Lord your Redeemer” (Isaiah 54:8b).

Whether you are heartbroken, seeking answers, filled with joy, or something in between,

Trust in Him…at all times.
Pour out your heart.
God is our refuge.

He loves you, and the cry of your heart is precious to Him.

Date Night Idea: Build a Fort

 Do you remember the days of building forts with all your mom’s extra sheets and blankets, and camping out in there all day?

I did this for my niece and nephew when I was babysitting them the other day. It was so simple. I pulled a couple of extra sheets out of the linen closet, threw them over the kitchen table, and voila, a tent! They were thrilled and never wanted to leave.

Ah, childhood.

Well, here’s a totally simple and very inexpensive date night idea for you and your beloved… revisit your childhood and build a blanket fort!

Date Night Idea #1: Build a Fort

What You’ll Need:
A few extra sheets and blankets
Some clothespins or other clips
Christmas lights are a bonus 🙂 

                            image source

First, decide where you want to build your fort. It could be in your bedroom, or be adventurous and take it to the living room! Use clothespins, clips, or heavy objects (like books) to secure your sheets and blankets into a tent big enough for the two of you (I think my hubby somehow used bungee cords on our tent…if your honey has a building/engineering mind like mine does, this is a fun project for him). 

 

Another option is to pull a mattress or sleeping bags into your tent and spend the night in there! This can be a really fun change from your normal routine.

Now you have your fun, unique setting, so what you do in your tent is up to you. Bring in your laptop and watch a movie while cuddling, play a card game, have snacks and your favorite drink, stay up late, talk, make out…. you get the picture 🙂

What do you think? Would this be a fun date night for you and your husband?
I think we might be due another blanket fort campout soon…. 😉

On Women's Day

 Today is International Women’s Day. If you live in the United States, you’re probably not super familiar with this custom, but it is recognized and celebrated as a national holiday in at least 36 countries around the world.

We are women… so what does this holiday mean for us?

A Bit of Background

I found a full run-down of the history of IWD on Wikipedia, but here’s the basics. International Women’s Day had its beginnings as a women’s labor union strike in 1908. The following year, the Socialist Party of America held an event to commemorate the strike. Over the next few years, the idea of an annual Women’s Day spread to the socialist and communist parties in Europe and Russia. The day was marked by demonstrations demanding women’s right to vote, protests against sex discrimination, as well as other various strikes and marches.

Today, IWD is celebrated around the world, largely by Eastern European and Asian cultures, but in a much more peaceful manner. For some, the day is similar to Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day, with flowers, chocolates, and small gifts, and even women getting the day off work. For others, it’s still a very political holiday, as they continue to fight for gender equality and women’s rights.

Photo Credit: Ashley Kilmer Photography

A Spiritual Perspective

Personally, I have mixed feelings about the whole “gender equality” issue. I’m not really into politics and I’m not part of the business world, so maybe I don’t experience prejudice or inequality like some women do. I also have the opportunity to live in the United States, where I think women have more rights and freedoms than they do in some developing countries.

However, spiritually speaking, I do believe there is a war against women, and it’s not coming from politicians or men, but from the enemy of our souls.

Take a look at these excerpts from Becoming Myself by Stasi Eldredge:

Misogyny: a hatred of women. From Greek misein “to hate” + gyne “woman.” 

Misogyny is the hatred of women and everything female. It was birthed at the fall of man and has found its home not only in men but in women, too. It manifests itself in many different ways – from jokes to pornography to sex trafficking to the self-contempt a woman feels for her own body. Why is plastic surgery now common practice? Anorexia, bulimia, and binging all find their roots in self-loathing, in misogyny. The history of our world is rampant with damage, oppression, diminishment, contempt, and fear aimed at women.

Misogyny got into the church. Many a Scripture-filled sermon has been preached throughout the centuries, advocating the suppression of women…Paul’s words about women have too often been twisted to serve the oppression of women – far from his intention.

The church has been horrifically skewed regarding women. It has taught that women are the source of evil, that sex itself is evil. Some churches continue to teach that the fall of man came because of Eve’s wickedness and that she and all women after her are temptresses. Churches have taught that women can’t teach, women can’t speak in church, women can’t cut their hair. Women need to cover their bodies, their faces, their heads.

[Misogyny] has come to us through people and governments and cultures and religions and nations. It comes through men. It comes through women. It can even come through little girls. Think back to the playground. Little girls can be catty, cruel, and competitive.

Women compete with each other for the attention of men. Many women are threatened by another woman’s beauty, intelligence, and grace. We walk into a room and unconsciously size up all the other women in the room. We quickly judge where we fit in the hierarchy of attraction (worth) without even being aware that we have done it. That behavior finds its roots in misogyny.

After explaining this landscape of our culture and surroundings, Stasi explains our response:

But we do not overcome this misogyny by trying to be men. Let us begin by celebrating the role we play; let us champion these callings and celebrate them every way we can.

The kingdom of God will not advance as it needs to advance without women rising up and playing their role… Men will not become the men they are meant to be without godly women pouring into their lives. Women will not become who they are meant to be without the strength, encouragement, and wisdom of other women nurturing their lives.

There is a reason the Enemy fears women and has poured his hatred onto our very existence. Let him be afraid, then. We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us, and we will not be overcome.

 

Photo credit: Ashley Kilmer Photography

Interesting concept to ponder on, yes?

I love how she points out that the solution is not to try to become like men, because I feel like that’s the goal in culture today: “Give us everything men have! Treat us exactly like men are treated!” In reality, that shouldn’t be what we’re asking for, because we’re not men. We are women. And God created men and women differently, with not only different bodies, but different gifts, strengths, weaknesses, callings, and purposes. Men and women are equally valuable in the world and in the Kingdom of God, but in very different ways. We have the ability to influence and to share Jesus with the world in ways that men do not have, because we are females.

So rather than demand to be treated like men, I wish more women would recognize the incredible value of their womanhood, their femininity. It is a beautiful, powerful gift, to be a woman. God gave us this gift for a purpose. You and I can start our own stand against misogyny today by accepting and affirming that truth – we are women by God’s design, for His purpose, and we are beautiful in His sight. Celebrate being a lady today… God’s lady.

What is PCOS?

I’ve been staring at this screen for days, trying to figure out how to begin, how to say what I want to say, and whether I should say it at all.

Despite my hesitancy, I’ve decided it’s time to be open and honest, and talk about my recent diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). It’s a scary thing to talk about, because it’s extremely personal and somewhat embarrassing. But the truth is, maybe talking about it will encourage someone, help another woman who has PCOS, or simply foster openness and honesty…. and if so, then that’s what I want to do.

It’s the same reason we chose to be honest about our miscarriage. We want God to be able to use our trials to help others, so we share. Even when sharing is hard.

So, here’s the story.

(Warning: there’s going to be some TMI [too much information!] in this post. If you’re bothered by that, feel free to move on and explore one of my other posts! 🙂 ) 

What is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome?

PCOS is defined as a “hormonal disorder.” It’s actually fairly widespread, as it’s estimated 1 in 10 women have it. There is a standard list of the “common” symptoms, but in reality, it’s really not “one size fits all.” Each woman with PCOS has a unique experience and set of symptoms. For example, one of the classic symptoms is being overweight. I don’t have that symptom, but I do have frequent pain around my ovaries, which a lot of patients don’t experience.

Here is a graphic I made to show some of the most common symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Again, not every woman with PCOS deals with every one of these… it’s simply an average.

What does this mean for me?

On a daily basis, it means I deal with pelvic pain and a few other irritating symptoms, lots of recent doctor visits, and experimenting to try to figure out what combination of diet, supplements, and medications will help me feel the best and have a more regular cycle.

On a long-term basis, as we look forward to starting a family, it means we might struggle with infertility, and that our risk of miscarriage is closer to 50%, rather than the 15-20% rate most healthy women face.

image source

PCOS also increases my risk of diabetes, depression, and several types of cancer. This disorder is manageable, but not curable at this time.

I won’t keep going into detail here about what this entails physically, but please feel free to ask me about it if there is something you want to know. This website also has good, easy-to-read information on this topic.

Where’s the good in this?

As followers of Jesus, Brett and I want to find hope by looking for the good – what God is doing – in every situation. I have to admit, having PCOS is a difficult situation to see good in. It seems pointless. And quite honestly, it can be overwhelming, frustrating, and scary.

But day by day, moment by moment, I’m going to choose to look for God’s blessings. To look for what He is teaching me and how He is shaping me to His image. I’m going to look for God-given opportunities that may arise as a result of having this health issue, and take every opportunity I have to give Him glory. I’m going to thank Him every day for His innumerable gifts. And I’m going to keep sharing my heart and my story, praying that my openness will extend courage and hope to someone else.

What can you do?

1. Don’t act weird around me. I’m not an invalid, depressed, or contagious. I’ll tell you if I’m having a bad day and need my space or rest. Otherwise, let’s just forget it and be normal, okay?
2. Ask questions if you want to know something. Really, I don’t mind. Awareness is a good thing.
3. Know that we’ve got the experts working on it, and we don’t really need advice about how your sister’s best friend’s cousin fixed her hormone problems and magically got pregnant 🙂
4. Understand that sometimes I just don’t feel good. There may be days when I seem sad or distant. I might just be in physical pain. Know that it’s nothing against you or whatever activity you’ve invited me to – it’s just my body being uncooperative. Thanks for understanding.

Why share this?

Again, I share this with you for the sake of honesty and transparency. This is a big part of our life and journey right now, and we want to be real about it. I also hope God will give me opportunities to help and encourage other women who may be dealing with similar problems. Even though it’s scary to click publish on this… “I will be brave with my story so others can be brave with theirs.” 

image source

(And if you read all the way to here, thanks for sticking with me!)