Restless till I rest in You

I spent Sunday through Thursday of this week in Asheville, NC at the - careful, this is a mouthful - Christian Camp and Conference Association (CCCA)'s 2010 national conference. It was, in a word, wonderful. Inspiring. Overwhelming. Well worth going. Okay, that was 6 words. Guess that just proves I can't sum it up in a word.

For someone like me, who is passionate about camp ministry and wants to work in it long-term, this week was priceless: Attending seminars to learn about different areas of camp ministry (marketing, staff training, programming, etc). Meeting other people who share the same passion for camp work, and sharing stories and ideas with them. Gleaning wisdom and inspiration from those who have more experience. Learning new things.

And worshiping God... the worship services of the week were a-maz-ing. Brian Wurzell and Audrey Assad were our worship leaders and they were such a blessing to me. There is something awesome about being part of 600+ people from different denominations all worshiping the Lord together. I love it. All over the auditorium, we sang.... some stood, some sat, some lifted their hands. A man was on his knees with his arms raised high. A woman was dancing in the aisle. I cried. It was all beautiful.

How I wish we could see that kind of free worship in my home church.

So yeah, I was definitely on a mountain for those few days -- both literally as well as emotionally and spiritually. The truth about mountains is we can't live on them. We have to come back down into life, the valley of life. But aren't you so thankful for those mountaintop days... they make everything worth it.

You know how we talk about open doors and closed doors? About "when God closes one door He always opens another one"? I was thinking about that yesterday. I read a quote on someone else's blog about facing a lot of closed doors and she said that sometimes she felt like she could literally hear the door slamming shut. I kind of feel that way right now. There's a certain area of life in which I feel like God has closed door after door after door... He shut one just since I've been home this week. It's one of those I can almost hear slamming, and I cringe, because it hurts. And I want to bang on it, kick it, try to push it open. But it's no use. "Not my will but Yours be done."

My room is such a disaster right now. I've let it get messy, and on top of that I'm sorting through stuff, getting ready to move, so that makes it even messier.

This is the song of my heart this week. "Restless" by Audrey Assad.

"You dwell in songs that we are singing
Rising to the heavens, rising to Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between our frailty and everything You are

You are the Keeper of my heart.
And I'm restless, I'm restless
Till I rest in You, till I rest in You
I am restless, I'm restless
Till I rest in You, till I rest in You, O God.
Oh speak now, for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the Keeper of my heart
You are the Keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
Till I rest in You, till I rest in You
I am restless, I'm restless
Till I rest in You, till I rest in You, O God.
Still my heart, hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
I'm restless, I'm restless
Till I rest in You, let me rest in You
I am restless, so restless
Till I rest in You, till I rest in You, O God.

(hear the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xneqXUuH6U0)

Love, Ashley

PS: if you have a moment, check out my friend's blog airplanesinthesky99.blogspot.com