content..?

This morning, I walked from the lodge up to the dining hall for the pre-breakfast staff meeting. I left the lodge a little earlier than the others, so I could have those few minutes alone to pray at the start of the day. It was chilly, rays of sun were streaming through the trees, and a mist was rising off the surface of the lake. As I walked, I whispered to God, "Thank you for the beauty of a new day...for the beauty of being so small in the midst of your greatness...and for the beauty of being right where You and I both know I need to be."

It's now almost exactly 12 hours later. It's been a busy day full of phone calls, registrations, errands, etc, and now I have a little time off before tonight's campfire service. I just read this Scripture:

"I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am... in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." (Philippians 4:11-12)

Those are not words I can honestly say. Because I am not always content.

Right now, I am content in some things. I'm content with my job at camp -- although there are hard days, like any job -- but mostly I am happy and content with this.

However, I am NOT content to be a single woman right now. This is the BIG THING that God and I have spent many hours wrestling over. This is where I cannot honestly speak the words written in Philippians. Paul might have learned the secret of being content no matter what... but apparently I have not learned that secret yet, at least not in the area of singleness. I still pray that God will teach me that secret.

A few minutes ago, I read this quote on another blog (which is what led me to this Scripture). This was posted on The Girl With The Smile 's blog.

"Contentment occurs when Christ's strength is infused into my weak body, soul, and spirit. To infuse means to pour, fill, soak.... How does God enable us to be content? He infuses contentment into us."

Yes. ‎That's what I want.