To My Single Friends on Valentine's Day

 My dear friends who are single today,

Hey. Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.

First, I want to start by saying this is not a generic letter. I’m not writing to some hypothetical single girl who I imagine might read this post. No, I’m thinking of you – my sweet single friends. I could call you by name, and in fact, I already did this morning. I spoke your names to the Father, one by one, and asked Him to help you feel loved, cared for, and full of hope today.

I’m so thankful to have each of you in my life! Whether we’re close friends today, or we haven’t kept in touch lately, somewhere along the way you’ve been an important part of my life. With some of you, I walked the single journey side-by-side for a while, with all its rejoicing and bemoaning, wondering and dreaming, laughing and weeping. Some of us had a secret Never Been Kissed Club (you know who you are!). I treasure each one of you.

 

“Put a ring on it!” Our single girls Valentine’s Day party a few years ago.

 

I know Valentine’s Day can be hard when you don’t have someone to share it with. Really, it’s just a silly, commercialized holiday, but at the same time, it’s a day when you’re bombarded with hearts, flowers, cheesy Facebook posts, engagement announcements… reminders that “everyone else” has what you don’t have.

And sometimes the single life seems unbearable and never-ending. I get it. I didn’t start dating my husband until I was twenty-seven. The single journey, despite the unique blessings and joys it carries, is hard. 

And days like Valentine’s Day can amplify that.

So today, I really don’t have any magic words for you, because I know you’ve heard it all. You’ve heard all the well-meaning advice, and I know you don’t want to hear

“God has a plan…”
“He’s preparing the right man for you…”
“Enjoy your freedom…”
“Singleness is a gift…”
“It will happen when you stop looking…” 

Really, there are two things I want to tell you today. The first is this: Please don’t ever believe that you are somehow less-than or not-arrived because you are unmarried. I know married people can often make single people feel that way, but it’s just not true.

You have worth as a person. You have wisdom and experience that is unique to being a single woman in the world today. You have purpose. Your friendship is a blessing. You have valuable gifts to offer. Your journey matters.

So never think that because you aren’t married, you haven’t “arrived” in life yet. Singleness is a season and marriage is a season, and both are priceless.

And second, I want you to know what I’m praying for you today:

• That you feel inexpressibly loved. Because you are! Loved by a Heavenly Father and a Savior who died for you, literally moved heaven and earth and gave everything to be with you. Loved by your family. Loved by your friends. Loved by countless people whose lives you bless, and you don’t even know it.
• That you believe God’s plans for you are so, so good.  Even if today, it feels like He’s forgotten you. Even if today, you feel lonely, stuck, and hopeless. Dare to believe, dear friend, that He is working together all the details and creating a story so beautiful, you’ll be utterly amazed as you see it unfold.
• That you are filled up. Not lacking. Not feeling like something is missing. That you are full of joy, full of hope, full of purpose, full of love.

Sweet friends, you’re on my heart and in my prayers today. I love and appreciate each one of you so much! Be encouraged and go spread some love today, wherever you are.