Long Distance Love: Lessons Learned in Long Distance Marriage

 Hi girls! I’m excited for you to read this post by my 

long-time friend Andria. Due to job reasons, she and her husband have been living partially long distance for almost a year. Andria’s message is painfully honest but full of hope and encouragement. Read on!

This is the fourth post in the Long Distance Love series. 

 

 

 

I’m Andria, and I’m honestly so excited to be able to share about my current experience in living a slightly single life due to a partial long distance marriage.

My husband Zach and I have been pretty inseparable since we were young. We met at 15 in the praise band for our youth group and began dating around age 17. We have been together ever since, and are currently going on 4 years strong. Up until last year, God’s plan had kept us together. We purchased our first home, and began making preparations to start a family. Throughout a series of unfortunate events; however, Zach’s place of business made some serious changes for the worst. He decided to hold out and hoped things might improve, but they never did.

During this time, he’d met some friends who had gotten him interested in a new career. This was an opportunity to travel the country doing something he loved. As a wife, it was bittersweet. So proud of him for being able to experience this, but at the same time sad by the fact that he’d be gone…A LOT! But I knew this is what God was calling us to be a part of, so we began our journey in July of last year.

I’m fairly a newbie when it comes to long distance relationships, so I’m learning as I go. Family gatherings, holidays, special events – those things go by and sometimes you’re alone. Without a lot of prayer, family support, and honestly trying to maintain EVERY SINGLE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT, this lifestyle becomes very daunting. There are so many opportunities for Satan to do what he does best — seek to kill, steal, and destroy your relationship. And for women especially, he knows the absolute best ways to knock you down.

So here’s what I’ve come to learn in the past few months.

1. The most important thing is BOTH of your relationships with Christ.

Pray for each other whenever that person comes to mind. Thank God for the relationship, and pray He sustains it. Read your Bible, do a daily devotion, go into a room in your home and worship Him. Do whatever gets you to a deeper connection with God, and in turn He will bless it.

2. Openly Communicate.

Yes, this gets tricky sometimes. Someone might get hurt. Let’s be serious, many a mental breakdown WILL occur. But you can’t hide hurts, concerns, fears. This will only cause bitterness & resentments and will in turn most likely cause the demise of your relationship. Here the Fruits of the Spirit need to become intertwined. Let me just go ahead and tell you Self-Control is not my strong suit. Remember the other person hurts just as much as you probably do. Talk it out, hear the other person. USE THE FRUITS!

3. Be Fun.

Something that gets Zach and I through his intermittent travels is being fun, and that can be so many different things. You know your person. You know how their brain works. Send them funny pictures, videos, memes, etc… Use your imagination! Find something that will make the other smile, maybe even a sweet message. 

4. Relax!

Life gets tough without your other half around. Anyone who’s involved in a long distance relationship knows that’s a given. But you can’t allow yourself to become a victim, or you will miss out on so much that God has to offer you in this experience. Some people will never understand this specific thing and that’s okay. God will reveal Himself other ways to other people in different situations. BUT YOU, get to see God work a special way. So open your hands, let go of control, and let God intervene. Relax (yes, easier said than done).

 

Distance can be a beautiful thing. It can make you stronger, wiser, more patient, more caring, but all of that doesn’t come easy. Along with it comes heartache, anger, and confusion, but remember these things are not characteristic of how God operates. Probably the most beautiful thing will be the scars and bruises you will acquire from being so often at the feet of Jesus.